Haterade

You know what? You guys all have a drinking problem. I can tell. And I know what you're drinking, too. It's haterade.

I've been noticing an increasing amount of hate amounting recently during team, and this is very unhealthy. You must embrace the chicken wing, not hate on it! I believe the chicken wing is the most helpful technique available to the intermediate climber. It builds sideways lock-off power and makes you look super cool. All the cool climbers are doing it. Who do you think you are, anyways, climbing with straight arms like some sort of scarecrow ape monster? If you knew what was good for you, you would stick those elbows out with pride! In fact, why don't you go buy the chicken wing elbow guard to appear even more legit among your fellow climbers. This will come in use when you develop the skills to use the elbow hook. This move is not only useful on almost every boulder problem or route, but also will impress your peers even more than the dreaded figure four!

And for another thing, dead hangs should not be done with straight arms at least one arm must be partially bent (bonus points for two). It makes you look sick hardcore and all the other gym rats will definitely be jealous. In fact, all exercises on the systems, campus board, and hangboard should never be done with arms straight. Using your skeletal system is a weakness! Rely instead on the beastly muscles that you will develop from constantly climbing with a chicken wing. In fact, let's face it: right now you're not a beast (comme moi), but by using my patented chicken wing climbing technique videos, you will be in a short matter of time. Other techniques cower in awe of the chicken wing! With my easy twelve step program (only $39.99!!!), you'll be on the way to chicken wing stardom in no time. Soon you will have the arms and shoulders of the hulk! Small holds become increasingly good as your elbows rise! Even Chris Sharma has endorsed this program,"Uhh...yeah. Sick." IS THAT NOT PROOF ENOUGH?! So, my dear friends, get off your asses and leave the comfort of climbing with your straight-armed, uptight friends. Come to the accepting and more hardcore camp of the chicken wing! Your success is waiting!

So, kids, remember not to hate on others...UNLESS THEY'RE WRONG! So let's all embrace the chicken wing and laugh at the fools who are ignorant of it.

Get Psyched

Captain Chicken Hawk (aka Henery Hawk)

captain chicken hawk

INTRODUCING SOME OF THE KITSAP VW CLIMBING TEAM:

Team Captain, Chicken Hawk

Short Bus

Pig Pen

Bean

....and this guy

HARD WORK
There Are No Shortcuts
BY MARK TWIGHT

The following paragraph is excerpted from John Jesse's remarkable book titled “Wrestling Physical Conditioning Encyclopedia, published by The Athletic Press, Pasadena, CA, in 1974.

The writer would like to conclude with a personal message to wrestlers and coaches alike. It is taken from a talk given in 1964 to coaches at the National Collegiate Track Clinic and quoted many times by authorities throughout the world:

“There is no shortcut to strength development, as there is none for the development of skill, agility or endurance in an athlete. No amount of fancy gimmicks or equipment or adoption of alleged time-saving ‘fads' will substitute for a long term program of hard work, that is required to develop the quality of strength needed by an athlete for optimum performance in his specialty. Greater progress in track and field during the past 15 years has been the result of harder work by the athletes, not by resorting to shortcuts and less work.”

If the day's workout prescribes hard work (as opposed to recovery or "conversational" intensity) and you can read a magazine, or talk, or take a sip of your favorite sports drink, or recognize it's your phone that's ringing, or if you're not feeling dizzy, then you are not working hard. Avoiding hard work isn't wrong but it should not be confused with embracing effort, mouth wide open and giving it a bit of tongue ... "

Get psyched for some hard work on Wednesday.
Signed, your coach.

To All Kitsap Team Members,

In an effort to update the Vertical World Team Website, Tyson would like you to answer the questions listed below. Please email your responses to Denise at: denijoe@comcast.net .

1. how much time do you spend on training for competition and how much time are you climbing for fun? or is this the same to you?
2. when does climbing get in the way of your daily life? or does daily life get in the way of your climbing?
3. what other types of sports do you participate in? and no, video games are not a sport.
4. how many chores do you do around the house to help pay for the ridiculous amount of climbing shoes you go through in a season?
5. when you don't feel like running drills, what is the best way to make them fun for yourself?

Probably the best way to do this is to copy and paste the questions with your answers onto an email to Denise.

Thanks, see you at practice.
-Your Coach